another repost from my old blog

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Confession Of Love II

A letter from a friend…

I have kept this fear of losing your friendship. But I just can’t go on loving you without letting you know

I would like to share with you a letter from a friend. They say that it’s difficult to be a woman because you cannot express yourself a man can. When you feel something for a man, you just can’t shout it out because many people would tell you not to. When a woman falls in love with a friend, it becomes doubly difficult because the friendship is put at risk. More often than not, she would just keep her feelings to herself rather than letting the other person know and lose him in the end. It has always been said that the worst way to miss someone is when you’re sitting right beside him and cannot have him.
I know many women would find it unacceptable to be the first one to spill out their feelings but sometimes it’s the only way to find closure in a relationship that has been standing undefined for a long time. It is in the courage that she found to write and personally give this letter that we should find the reason to let someone know that we care. And if we do, it should not matter if the other person reciprocates our feelings because what matters most is not that we have failed, but we have loved and given unselfishly.

Dear Matt,
I know you will find this a bit unusual. I honestly can’t remember the last time I sent you a Christmas card. Two, three years ago? But it’s not Christmas now, yet I have this unexplainable urge to tell you something that I have been keeping inside for the longest time. You know I’m not that really that good when it comes to pouring my feelings. We have been friends for a long time and I can’t thank God enough for giving me the best eight years of my Life with. You see this is where it all started.
When I met you, I never thought we’d be this close. I thought it would just be like that forever. I guess somewhere along the way, I learned to anchor my hopes on something which I wasn’t sure I was supposed to feel in the first place. I don’t even know if it is right to tell you this but God knows how much pain I have been through just keeping this from you. I thought it was just fine to remain friends but every single moment that we share, drenches my soul with the longing to be closer to you. In many unspoken words, I have tried my best to show my feelings. My silence spoke a thousand times louder but I guess it never reached you. I need to tell you this, Matt. Otherwise, I will forever be trapped in the world of make-believe.
I guess it would be an understatement to say that “I Love you” because I don’t- I love you with all my life and my soul. I am not telling you this because I want you to love me in return. Selfish as it may seem, I think I owe this to myself. I just need to let you know how much you mean to me. I hope this won’t change the way you are to each other. I have kept this for fear of losing your friendship. But I just can’t go on loving you without letting you know. You will always be my friend and you will always be special. Finally I have broken my silence.
I Love you, Friend.

Philippine Daily Inquirer
Sunday Inquirer Magazine July 27,2003
Wrote by: Joe D’ Mango