just a repost from my old blog

Monday, May 24, 2004

Confession About Love I
Today as usual a ordinary day but am I really sure its just simple ordinary day?!

After scanning to different folders to different files I saw something that remembered me of you. As I go on and look around, each pictures and documents, it brought back memories of you and me. As I scan through them I started to reminisce. In each pictures I see only one thing. I saw love. Love in people’s mind is great affection and commitment to someone. But for me? Love is more than a feeling. But how can you say you love someone who left you for some reason but never sure if he will still come back for you?

Each day I said to myself, is this really love? Nobody can really tell what is love, but for me if this is really love, why does it hurt this much? To love and to be loved but at the end you will find out that you are a victim of a selfish relationship.

I met a guy whom changed my life, told me things that really touched me. I thought what I really felt will remain, but it wasn’t here to stay. The first month with him was great so great that later on it was difficult to move on. Challenges kept on coming but still we struggle to move on.

So many times I heard the words I LOVE YOU and so many times I said the words I LOVE YOU TOO but does these words your saying is sincere? I tried to understand, I tried to wait, I tried everything because I wanted you to know when I say those words I meant it and it was from my heart. You told me that what you feel for me was true and what I told you were true sooo true and will not change but why does our love started to disappear. For me I am true to my words but where you true to your words? Do you really love a girl if you left here because of a reason?! I know I must understand you but did you ever asked me how I feel and what I want to say?!

You told me not to let you go, I told you never would I let you go cause I love you. When I asked you not to let go you told me the same thing but did you really did it?!

Losing you broked my heart, I tried to mend it back but still the pain of you leaving still remained. I do really love you and this feeling is true, but did you do the same thing? I tried everything to talk to you but never did I receive a reply from you. I am still waiting for an answer, will it be I still love you too or I don’t want you anymore.

Now, whenever I reminisce I always tell myself, how long must I wait? Am I waiting for someone who will never return? Even if my heart is still aching it still stands up and tell you I am still in love with you even if you don’t love me in return.

I don’t know how long this will last but for you to know reply to me. This was never meant to happen, but it did. I am not saying that did not like it. But I want to let you know that I am thankful that it did happened. Thanks. At least I learned to love and to be loved. You will always be in my heart. ^_^